should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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