are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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