Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
