Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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