ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
