If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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