If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
