Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
