just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
