My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
