Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
