I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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