Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
