I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
