K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize