this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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