Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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