k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
