Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
