I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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