I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
