can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
