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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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