I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
