I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize