Its about making memories worth repressing
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm sobbing to NWA
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
