I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
