that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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