I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
