you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
