sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
