The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
