the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
