What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
