i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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