I want you more than these girls want KFC
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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