I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize