So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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