Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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