If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
