i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
