i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
that's an acceptable place to lick
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
