His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
