its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
