The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Randomize