you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Randomize
