I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
