Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
