Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize