yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
