I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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