What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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