I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
