Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
In America we eat man semen.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Randomize