I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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