I must be too annoying 4 u.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
