At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
