is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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