MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
