I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
